Wow. I had such a breakthrough at yoga this week about fear and I can’t wait to share it with you. Here’s this week’s song:
So I went to another class taught by Jennifer Ellen Mueller at Centered City Yoga. If you live anywhere near 9th and 9th in Salt Lake and you want to have an awesome experience take one of her classes! I went to Prana Flow today which sounds harmless, but was actually pretty intense, like:
Except I was more like:
No, but seriously, I’m not that great at yoga. Which is fine! It’s the point! I just had to learn to accept wherever I was at, because by the end of the class I was feeling better about myself physically and emotionally.
Yoga–even if you don’t believe any of the spiritual aspects–is basically a masterful way of organizing the mind. The yoga class is like a mini life. You have ups, and downs; you feel strong as an ox one minute, and the next you feel like an infant trying to slalom ski. Which is just like life! Jennifer, the teacher, had a great lesson today that really solidified this point for me.
The theme of the class today was the lotus, and Sarasvati:
I’m guessing she was one of the Beatles. But she’s actually the “Goddess of the Word.” Sarasvati means “the one who gives the essence (Sara) of our self (Sva).” Jennifer explained that Sarasvati is the glimmering beauty, light, and hope that flows like a river underneath all of existence. So even at your worst, even when you feel ugly, fat, untalented, fearful, she is still there, playing the tune of existence. Playing love.
Sarasvati means “the one who gives the essence (Sara) of our self (Sva).”
So Sarasvati is always there, a beautiful grace underlying all things, times, and people. But the part I really loved was Jennifer’s explanation of the lotus flower in conjunction with Sarasvati. The lotus only grows in murky, muddy soil. So the seeds have to grow up, trusting that there is light. They don’t have ANY light where they start, but they just grow and have faith until they break through the murk, find the sunlight, and bloom! The sun’s light is like Sarasvati; it’s the universal love, flow, energy, God, creative force, that underlies all existence. And when we are in the murk, and the mud, we have to try and remind ourselves: I am in a period of intense new growth. I am the Lotus, searching for the sun in the mud. Gain sustenance from the mud, and the murk, and trust that you will find the light again.
Once the lotus has bloomed, the flower turns back in itself, and creates the seeds. And here it does something remarkable: it continues to fold back in on itself, and returns its body and its seeds back into the mud and the murk, waiting for the next chance to grow.
It’s a cycle. And a beautiful cycle. And one we all go through over and over in our lives. We spiral upwards, sometimes in circles, but hopefully changing with each round: The seed, growth, the blooming in the glorious sun, then returning to seed and the muck and mud, to recharge and grow again.
We must appreciate the light while we are blooming to the fullest. Live it fully knowing it will come again, and let faith that the one thing that never changes in life is change, guide you through the darker, sadder times.
This entry is getting way to long, but next week I’ll finish it by talking about how I finally have come to understand my fear.
Have a great week, and see you next Tuesday!